The Battle of Mugwump Village

 

The Battle of Mugwump Village

 

The president of the city council in the Big City ran into the Mayor’s office.  “Mr. Mayor,” she shouted, “we have Mugwumps in our state!”  The Mayor scratched his head.  “What is a Mugwump?” he asked.  “A Mugwump is a person who is an independent thinker,” she responded.  “Someone who does not join a political party.  They are not in Our Party and they are not in the Other Party.  They are crazy!”  The Mayor called up the Governor.  “Governor,” he said, “Call out the Guard.” The Governor scratched her head.  “Why?  What is the emergency?” asked the Governor.  “Because we have Mugwumps,“ said the Mayor. “They are independent thinkers.  They could be thinking anything.  Their thoughts might be Politically Incorrect.”  The Governor was outraged. She frothed at the mouth.  “The Enemy is inside our state. We must Root them Out with Tooth and Nail.  Independent thinking is Hate Thinking,” she announced.  “It is illegal in California and it should be illegal here.”  She ordered the Guard to march on the Mugwump Village to Impose Order.

Round 1. The first picture shows the Guard column leaving the Big City and their objective, the Mugwump Village.

The Guard unit had a tank and two lighter vehicles.  Twelve infantry squads were in the Guard force.  The Mugwump Village had six squads, a tank, a jeep and a half-track.  The villagers were in their mughuts watching the Packers lose in the playoffs when the Guard force left the Big City, headed for Mugwump Village.  The Packers kicked a field goal instead of going for broke on the fourth down, so Mugwumps were in a bad mood already, spoiling for a fight.  The Big City picked the wrong day to Impose Order in the Mugwump Village.

Round 2. The second picture shows the arrival of the Guard in Mugwump Village.

When the Guard arrived in the village, the Mugwumps slammed down their beers, ran out of their mughuts and took cover.  The Packer game was over anyway.

Round 3.  The Guard tank commander spotted the Mugwump tank under cover, so he quickly reversed down the street.  The Guard infantry squads saw the Mugwumps run for cover, so they took cover also.

The Mugwumps started moving west.  The jeep was north of the street and the halftrack was south of the street.  Seeing the Guard infantry, the halftrack fired. 

By the time the Guard Humvees had pulled into position to confront the halftrack, one infantry squad was down.  Meanwhile, north of the street, the Mugwump jeep advanced toward the six Guard infantry squads.

 

 

 

Firefights north and south of the street were intense.  After a few rounds, both Humvees were disabled as were the halftrack and the jeep.  The two remaining vehicles were both tanks.  Several infantry squads had been eliminated on both sides.

Mugwump infantry retreated to cover beside their tank and, on the south side of the street, in a stand of trees.  The Guard infantry advanced in pursuit.

 

 

With no place left to fall back to, the surviving Mugwumps put up a valiant defense.  One by one, they took out Guard infantry squads while taking some losses themselves.  The two tanks fired away but neither could score a decisive hit. The Mugwump tank was under cover, which gave it an advantage.

  

Finally, after a few rounds, the Guard tank and the last of the Guard infantry squads were destroyed.  The Mugwumps were left with four infantry squads and a battered tank.

The Mugwumps had achieved a pyrrhic victory.  In retrospect, they should have pulled up stakes as soon as they sighted the oncoming Guard unit.  If only they had not been so engrossed in the Packer playoff game!  Well, it was time to move their mughuts to a safer location.